Looking Past the Veil

I've danced to death's tune and the song is not yet ended

I do not fear death anymore as I once did. For the last several months I have looked at the possibility of dying daily. Some would say this is morbid I say it's just my reality. I have lived four years longer than I should have. These days, months and years have been so precious. My gift in the grand scheme of things. Watching my children grow and loving my wife these past years has lead me to see what truly matters in this life. My son is the echo of myself. He is the peace and quiet I often seek in my own life. He is the calming water. I have watched him develop into quite an extraordinary version of a person I wish I could have been. He is a good student who loves to read. I love to watch him as he discovers these worlds of fantasy and adventure. He is my kung fu buddy. He lead me to something I have come to love in life. The martial art of Kung Fu. It was his interest that peaked my own and because of our journey together in this realm I am more whole. I can never thank him for enough for letting me tag along. My daughter. I am completely wrapped around your finger. We have learned to walk together you and I. You are the strong spirit and the fire of my own nature. Keep your strong spirit it is a strength you will need. You are a true princess to your daddy, so full of love and friendship. When you pull close and hold tight the warmth of your spirit warms even my cold heart. My laughter echoes in your own voice. These past four years have been priceless as I have watched you grow. I will always love you. My wife. You are my everything. The reason I may have defeated death those four years ago was to return to you. I haven't the words to express my love or thankfulness in the blessings you have helped me to create. You are the light to my darkness, my reason, my heart. Our children are the combinations of our unique natures fused into tiny incredible little beings. I see you in each of them as I see myself.

When my time comes whenever, wherever that time may be know that I am a blessed man. God broke me to make me whole. He blessed me with years I should never have had and gave me chances at redemption that many people never find. Life is a journey and it is in this journey we find what truly is important. It is not the riches or earthly possessions. It is not the achievement or reputation with others but in the discovery of self in relation to the grand creator that matters. My God will release me from this prison some day. I will return to the source from which I came and I will not hurt. It will not be an end to me but another step in my journey. You may not see my earthly vessel but you will feel my spirit as it soars and glides on the winds and rains. You will hear my shouts of triumph in the thunder and lighting and you will find my warmth in the glowing sun. And if you are just quiet enough you may hear my whisper on the gentle winds.
I do not fear death but I do fear the presence of my creator. It is only wise to do so. Wise and respectful. God has my respect as I know at any moment of any breath I can be reduced to nothingness. I have surrendered to this thought of being and this is why death is not to be feared.